


can't help falling in love

by aeternomin (noljagolcha)



Series: a match made in heaven [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, childhood friends to lovers gets me everytime, markhyuck is so precious i love them, please treasure them, this is mostly sappy pretentious prose lets be real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noljagolcha/pseuds/aeternomin
Summary: Like a planet caught up in a gravitational pull, Donghyuck keeps finding himself falling into orbit around Mark.alternatively, the 5 times donghyuck falls in love with mark over the years.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, slight Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: a match made in heaven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797139
Comments: 9
Kudos: 143





	can't help falling in love

it is on a blustery tuesday evening that donghyuck first realises he’s in love with mark. 

they’re seated side by side on the roof of mark’s house, with warm, newly-washed blankets pooling around their waists that mark must’ve stolen from deep within the recesses of his closet, smelling so much of a different kind of home. 

they revel in the last vestiges of the disappearing winter together, gathering where they always have for the past 3 years that they’ve known each other. donghyuck has been to mark’s rooftop more times than he can possibly count, and he can say that he’s probably more familiar with the layout of mark’s roof than he is with the layout of his own classroom. 

mark is talking about some new song he’s started listening to, but donghyuck is barely paying any attention to him. he hums at the appropriate parts and grins where he thinks it’s warranted, but he tunes out mark’s words.

instead, he casts his gaze out onto mark’s yard. he watches as the pale moonlight bathes the messy flower patch in the small, faraway corner of mark’s yard in a gentle glow, stirring memories of days spent climbing the fence just to take a look at the plants that they’d planted together, buying insecticides to keep the pests away but never using them anyway for fear that they’d harm the plants themselves. 

they’ve spent so much time together, donghyuck realises, that everything that stretches as far as he can see, even as he squints, reminds him of mark. they’ve climbed the big tree at the corner of the street, they’ve pedalled up and down the road multiple times, pretending they were Hells Angels, speeding down open roads with the wind in their hair. 

every single memory he’s made with mark stares at him in the face and donghyuck is struck by just how much of his life mark occupies. that, and the silent voice in the back of his head reminding him just how much he likes that. 

in the silence of the night, donghyuck feels mark shift beside him uncomfortably and wordlessly offers his hand for mark to hold. 

mark takes it without hesitation. 

the sudden epiphany doesn’t come to donghyuck with much fanfare. it isn’t because mark’s dark hair glows a soft silver under the liquid moonlight, nor is it because of how the gentle february wind stirs his curls, tossing them every way and about. 

it comes to donghyuck as he shifts closer to mark, their hands pressing so close he can feel the thumping of mark’s heart through his skin, the pulsating warmth so familiar and alive and so much like _home._

and that is how lee donghyuck realises he’s in love with mark. because mark lee is suddenly home, love and everything in between. 

  
  
  


the second time it hits donghyuck, the realisation finds them both sitting side by side on the curb just outside the dinky convenience store, fending off the summer heat with cheap popsicles that they sell for a dollar. neither the ice cream nor the location are the best, but in this small, remote town, it is all that they have, and they make it work. 

just like how mark is all that donghyuck has. and how they certainly make it work. 

in fact, donghyuck will say that he’s making it work right now. he bites down on the grape-flavoured popsicle in his hand, absentmindedly rolling the ice around with his tongue while watching the rivulets of artificial watermelon-flavoured water roll down mark’s chin as he makes a sloppy attempt to eat his popsicle around the gleaming silver braces that wrap around his teeth.

he’s distracted by the smattering of freckles littering mark’s sunkissed skin like a fusillade of fallen stars. it's beautiful, donghyuck thinks, in the way summer is beautiful, full of blooming flowers, clear skies and sunshine.

mark is beautiful, donghyuck thinks. 

mark’s voice cuts abruptly into his stream of consciousness. “-and then she told me i looked ugly, hyuck.” he is saying, voice muffled around his popsicle as he frantically tries to recount the events of the day to donghyuck. 

donghyuck finds he’s been doing that a lot lately; getting too wrapped up in his thoughts of mark’s smile and mark’s presence and mark’s warmth and just _mark_ , so much so that he forgets he has to listen in the first place. 

“do my braces make me look that bad?” 

donghyuck doesn’t answer and simply raises his eyes to the sky. the sun is really relentless today, shining down mercilessly with a blazing vengeance that makes donghyuck want to run away and hide until the weather is cooler and doesn’t make his head spin. but this is the only time he gets to spend with mark after school in the summer, and he means _really_ spend time with him. not with the others, just him and mark alone; two boys, pressed up side by side, sharing their warmth on days far too hot for that. 

“does it bother you?” he asks instead. 

if this were anyone else, donghyuck would laugh and shove them away, snorting about how _yes indeed, your braces make you look like the biggest fucking nerd ever_ , but this is mark, and donghyuck’s known mark for long enough to know that this is one of his most vulnerable moments; and who is donghyuck to refuse the chance to take care of him now?

“well, maybe.” donghyuck thinks he’s imagining it, but mark’s cheeks are beginning to flush, tinted a slight pink. the colour looks good on him, he surmises. “you didn’t quite answer my question.” 

“i was purposely trying not to.” donghyuck says flatly. 

mark gazes at him expectantly. watching. _waiting_. 

donghyuck huffs out a sigh of resignation. 

“of course not,” he says, nudging mark’s shoulder with his. “if anything, they make you a whole lot cuter than you already are.” 

“i guess so.” mark sighs, but concedes anyway. a slow, lazy smile does stretch across his face though, so donghyuck knows he’s said the right thing. the tension in mark’s shoulders gradually melt and he scratches idly at his chin, smearing the sticky sweet watermelon juice everywhere. donghyuck pulls a face but wisely chooses to say nothing. 

they sit there for the rest of the afternoon, basking in the warm glow of the afternoon sun, saying nothing but meaning everything.

it’s the kind of comfortable silence that comes with old familiarity, the kind between close friends that spend every waking moment with each other, the kind that falls when you have nothing to say simply because everything has been said. 

it is comfortable, and it is enough. donghyuck finds that he doesn’t mind this. in fact, he quite likes it. 

if you were to ask donghyuck what his favourite part of summer was, he will forego the stories of trips to sandy beaches stretching for miles and miles in front of him, leaping off piers into aquamarine seas, running in the field with the big sycamore tree until his lungs hurt; and instead tell you a story of a quiet afternoon spent seated on the scorching pavement outside the small convenience store, his knees knocking painfully into someone else’s, and a grin stained with artificial watermelon that shines brighter than the sun. 

if you were to ask donghyuck what his favourite part of summer was, his answer would be mark. 

  
  
  


the third time donghyuck realises he’s in love with mark, mark is gone. 

not gone forever, although it sure feels like it. donghyuck is no stranger to quarrels with mark; they’ve had their fair share of disagreements, but none quite as bad as this one. it takes all of donghyuck’s will and a few temper tantrums in the privacy of his own bedroom to prevent him from stomping over to mark’s house and kissing him silly right there and then. by the pot of orchids on the windowsill, standing on his porch, underneath the doorway painted white. 

but donghyuck is a boy with pride, and his pride has been wounded, so he turns his nose up, banishes those thoughts to the back of his head and flops down angrily on his bed. 

it didn’t seem like very much long ago that on their daily walk home together, mark had stopped, abruptly letting go of donghyuck’s hand and shook his head firmly, eyes blazing and shiny with tears, and stomped off towards his home, angrily yanking the door shut behind him. the orchids wobbled fearfully. 

and that was all donghyuck had seen of mark for a week. 

if it were anyone else he’d fought with, right now he’d be curled up next to mark, venting angrily with expletives tumbling loose from his lips as mark watches him with a somber expression, nodding seriously whenever donghyuck looks to him for support. 

he can still feel the phantom skitter of mark’s fingers threading through his hair, his touch ever so gentle as he soothed donghyuck. back then, jaemin was the one he’d been fighting with, over some nasty remark he’d made about jeno. 

jaemin, not jeno, had taken offence and immediately leapt up from his seat, leaning across the lunch table to take a swing at donghyuck’s face with his noodle arms. to add insult to literal injury, he’d knocked over donghyuck’s milk into his lap, soaking through his jeans and embarassing donghyuck thoroughly. 

jeno, knowing full well that donghyuck never meant anything he said, immediately encircled his arms around an irate jaemin’s waist, trying to pull him back into his seat from where he was swatting donghyuck’s face with all the strength he could possibly muster. 

donghyuck, for the most part, sat there, face growing redder and redder with anger till he’d burst, the screech from his chair dragging across the floor drowned out by the violent barrage of insults he’d begun raining on an equally-red-in-the-face jaemin. 

eventually, renjun had stepped in, levelling both boys with a glare so fierce that they’d quietened down, jaemin folding his arms with a frustrated huff and donghyuck glaring at him for all he was worth. 

the entire school heard about the quarrel before the second lunch break had even passed. 

the entire school, including mark. 

sweet, sweet, mark, who’d immediately dropped his books on his desk and booked it out of class, finally putting his skills as Neo High’s star tracker to good use as he zipped through hallways to come to a skidding halt before donghyuck’s curled up form at his desk.

“hyuckie,” he’d gasped, and that was all it had taken for donghyuck to dissolve into heartwrenching sobs, and _that_ was all it had taken for mark to immediately gather the younger boy in his arms, whispering words of consolation as he ran his fingers through his hair, just the way donghyuck liked. 

but now, even if donghyuck cries, all that greets him is the cold silence of his room, the mark-shaped hole in the empty space suddenly too great to bear. 

he can’t even remember what they’d fought about, he realises with a start.

the argument itself had never really mattered from the very beginning.

he’d already forgiven mark since the first step he took, marching away from donghyuck with his head held high.

donghyuck does, eventually apologise to mark though. he dons his favourite hoodie, the one with the big “UCLA” emblazoned on the front. he catches mark staring at him sometimes, when he wears it. he figures its a good choice for an apology outfit. 

as he stands on mark’s porch, remembering the way mark’s eyes glittered with harsh, angry tears, he swallows thickly, raising his hand to rap on the door as his heart thuds with trepidation against his chest. 

he barely gets two knocks in before the door swings open, and there is mark, in his fluffy, bedheaded glory, rubbing his eyes sleepily with a bemused expression on his face. 

if donghyuck wasn’t in the middle of attempting to deliver an apology to mark, he probably would have stood there for a few moments more and let his gaze linger on the boy he’s loved longer than he’s known. but he is in the middle of something, so he simply wrings his fingers and waits. 

“what do you want, donghyuck.” 

mark’s tone is flat, donghyuck notes, but it’s not angry. there’s no real bite to it and the tension leaves donghyuck in a jiffy, his shoulders relaxing as he breathes a quiet sigh of relief.

“i’ve come to grovel.” donghyuck announces. “this is an apology, by the way. for making you angry the other day.”

mark quirks an eyebrow. “i didn’t think you would.” 

“well, don’t get used to it, mark lee.” donghyuck says, “i’m only doing this because i love you.” 

he freezes. he wasn’t supposed to say that. 

he’s not surprised, however, to find that he really, truly means it. 

donghyuck opens his mouth to correct himself, to say something more donghyuck-like, something like _Haha bitch you thought??_ , but he’s cut off by mark’s low, rumbling chuckles as he beckons donghyuck inside. he hesitates by the door however, footsteps faltering the closer he gets to mark, unsure if he’s still upset. 

“okay donghyuck,” mark says, sounding exasperated, but looking every bit like the fool he is with the big grin splitting his face into two, “sure, i accept your apology. wanna see this new game i got?”

“oh shit, definitely.” without further hesitation, donghyuck brushes past mark and tries to make a beeline for the television to call dibs on the better controller before mark can. as he passes by, mark catches him by the arm and stares into his eyes for a few seconds of unflinching sincerity. 

“i missed you.” 

and donghyuck swallows guiltily, ignoring the way his stomach flipflops over in his belly. he wants to tell mark how much he missed him too, how much he’d missed _them_ , missed mark and everything in between. what comes out instead is a mumbled _yeah whatever loser_ , before donghyuck stalks off quickly. 

“i love you too, hyuck.” mark hums, quiet enough for anyone to miss, but not donghyuck. donghyuck hears mark, as he always has. as he always will. 

donghyuck only wishes mark is telling the truth. 

  
  


when donghyuck falls in love with mark for the fourth time, the story this time involves a boy, two other boys, and a heartbreak. 

it’s not his own heartbreak though. 

mark’s by his side, solid and supportive, but renjun is on the floor, the most vulnerable they’ve ever seen him, sobbing into donghyuck’s hoodie (the same UCLA one), refusing to say what happened to him. 

_is that my hoodie?_ mark mouths over renjun’s shoulder, eyes staring pointedly at the growing grey patches on donghyuck’s hoodie. donghyuck furrows his eyebrows and is just about to retort that no, it’s his, when he realises that oh, maybe it _is_ indeed mark’s hoodie.

and maybe that was why he kept staring at him whenever he wore it. 

nothing more.

donghyuck meets his gaze and raises an eyebrow. _so what?_ his stare seems to say, challenging mark to say something about it. mark’s never made a fuss about donghyuck stealing his things, whether it be his lunch, his homework, or his clothes. he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious to see mark’s reaction. 

mark doesn’t look away. 

renjun chooses this moment to let out a wet cough, effectively breaking the strange, tension-filled eye contact that mark and donghyuck are sharing right over his head. they look away guiltily as renjun straightens up and makes grabby hands for the box of tissues that mark is gripping tightly. 

mark quickly pulls out a couple and hands them to renjun to blow his nose into. 

“you ready to tell us what happened?” donghyuck asks cautiously. he can never be too sure what renjun is thinking, nor how he will react. renjun is unpredictable that way.

“jaemin’s dating jeno now.” renjun announces. “it’s okay for me to tell you because he was going to do it sometime soon anyway.” 

“shit,” donghyuck says, as renjun nods sagely, “are these celebratory tears then? i even wore my comfort hoodie for you today.” 

mark’s face twists into something strange at the same time that renjun casts a downward glance into his lap and tightens his fists in the hem of his sweater. there’s something off about renjun’s posture, from the defeated slump to his shoulders to the deep, dark eyebags encircling his eyes, and oh– donghyuck gets it.

he swallows clumsily around the lump in his throat. “i–” 

mark beats him to it. “i’m so sorry renjun.” he murmurs, gently putting the tissue box aside to gather the miserable boy into his arms. the way he holds renjun is tender, caring, but it’s different from the way mark holds him. not that he’s thinking so much into it to be making a comparison. 

all that is said are four simple words, yet it is enough for renjun, who lets out a quiet sigh.

“it’s okay.” renjun says, “i should be getting over him anyway. i knew from the beginning that there was no use holding onto someone already taken.” he shakes his head. “i know i should have listened to what logic was practically screaming at me to do, but i couldn’t help but have hope, you know?” 

donghyuck does know. he sneaks a furtive look at mark, unable to control his impulses, and is startled by the look that’s made itself home on mark’s face. it’s one he has never seen before, mark’s lips twisted in a bittersweet smile, eyebrows pinches tight as he squeezes his eyes shut, almost as if to block out a painful memory of hope held and lost. and yet, mark looks like he’s relishing in the feeling, as if trying to relive the exact same pain over and over again until it is all he knows.

it is at this moment that donghyuck realises, for all the time he’s known mark, he has never told him if he’d fallen in love before. but with the way mark holds renjun close, comforting him in the way only someone who knew exactly how to empathise can, donghyuck knows that there is no way that mark lee has never known, and maybe lost, love.

donghyuck doesn’t know who it possibly could be. maybe he doesn’t ever want to know, but can you blame him?

all he knows is that he wants to be the one mark loves. the only one mark loves. donghyuck’s hands curl into fists by his side. it’s selfish, he knows, but is it too much to ask? 

he casts another long look at mark, face still frozen in that expression of pure longing. as if sensing the heat of his stare on him, mark’s expression slackens, and he opens his eyes to peer at donghyuck. 

as their eyes meet, mark sends a small smile his way. it’s lopsided, doesn’t crinkle his eyes up at the edges, and it’s so small it can barely even be counted as a smile, but it’s _mark_ ; so it makes donghyuck’s heart flutter all the same. stupid mark, in-love mark, stupidly-in-love mark. donghyuck sighs quietly and uncurls his fists. 

and thus, it is on this bright afternoon dimming into the cool evening, setting sun casting hues of pink and gold onto mark’s skin, making him look absolutely radiant, glowing from the inside out, that donghyuck falls in love with a boy who is so, so painfully obviously in love. 

and it hurts, but it is mark, and donghyuck would not have it any other way.

  
  
  


for the fifth time, donghyuck falls love with mark. he’s used to it this time, he thinks.

this time though, he isn’t the only one falling in love. 

it’s the thick of winter, and in order to withstand the cold, donghyuck has abandoned his trusty (but somewhat worn) “UCLA” hoodie for a thicker, padded jacket and a few more layers of sweaters. he’s even got another hoodie this time round, a soft blue one with black sleeves. 

he doesn’t remember buying it, so it must be mark’s. 

speaking of mark, the boy has fallen uncharacteristically silent. it’s another one of his moods, which he is wont to fall prey to, especially as of late, donghyuck finds. he tried asking mark about it once before, having found that the latter has absolutely zero filter when it comes to him, so he knew mark would tell him. or rather, he thought he knew. mark had remained tight-lipped, promising donghyuck he’d tell him all about it later, and donghyuck had simply let it go with a suspicious glare. 

he didn’t think he should pry. it seemed serious.

now, though, donghyuck wonders if he should have forced an answer out of mark. there has been an unspoken tension between them lately, and it is thick enough that even jaemin has noticed, as wrapped up in jeno as he is. it is awkward and gets under donghyuck’s skin, always crawling up and down his arms and making him squirm.

as they take the trek from school back home, mark soldiers on slightly ahead, his movements stiff and unnatural. something is clearly bothering him, donghyuck thinks, but what is it? 

donghyuck swallows uneasily. the distance between them suddenly seems palpable, like a wide, gaping chasm that is impossible to cross, only growing bigger because donghyuck was too stupid to see that their friendship isn’t as it should be. 

maybe it never had been. maybe their friendship had always been mark putting up with him, just going along with donghyuck’s antics because he pitied the small, gap-toothed kid from Jeju with no friends living two houses away. 

he feels stupid now, and he feels like a failure. his closest friend, who he’d gone and _fallen in love with_ , is drifting further and further away and he cannot even pinpoint when or how it became like this.

donghyuck doesn’t realise he’s stopped walking until the sound of snow crunching under mark’s feet stops too, and mark swivels round to look at him. 

“duckie?”

donghyuck lifts his head, trembling slightly. “yeah?” 

then, all of a sudden, mark invades his senses. he’s standing right in front of him, cupping his face with warm hands and peering in close. “you okay?”

“yeah,” donghyuck grits out, “just cold.” 

he swipes a thumb over donghyuck’s frostbitten cheek roughly, eliciting a whine from donghyuck. neither of them pull away. “stupid. why didn’t you dress warmly?” before donghyuck can even utter a protest, mark is winding his scarf around donghyuck’s neck, tucking it into his jacket. 

it’s strange, donghyuck surmises. just seconds ago, mark seemed miles away; but now, if he reached out, he could just close his fingers around the lapels of mark’s fancy coat and pull him in. but he doesn’t, fingers fidgeting restly by his sides.

mark doesn’t notice, and only moves to zip up donghyuck’s coat but stops, huffing out a laugh. the air puffs up in white clouds around him and donghyuck tries to blink them away. “is this my hoodie? again?” 

donghyuck stares up at the sky resolutely. “oh is it?”

“you know, if you wanted to wear my clothes so badly, you could just ask.” mark looks away, and donghyuck follows his movement with his gaze, entranced. he feels like he cannot look away. “i wouldn’t mind.” 

“no?” donghyuck whispers. “you wouldn’t?”

a lesser man would not notice the blush staining mark’s cheeks. but donghyuck is no lesser man. 

“i wouldn’t.” 

“why’s that?” donghyuck asks.

mark avoids his gaze, cheeks going impossibly red, and mutters something unintelligble under his breath while trying to make a break for it. donghyuck reaches out, grabs him by the lapels of his fancy coat, and pulls him in. mark’s wide eyes meet his own. 

it’s now or never.

“well?” donghyuck prompts.

mark takes a deep breath. he looks like he’s steeling himself for something. 

donghyuck lets himself hope.

“i wouldn’t mind,” mark says slowly, as if unsure, “because i like you.” 

dumbstruck, donghyuck stands there. he’s ascended and gone to heaven. that’s the only explanation there is. “you… like me?”

“yeah, i think.” mark says, scratching at his head. “no, actually, i think i love you.” he grins then, the signature mark grin that shows off all his teeth and crinkles his eyes at the edges. “yeah,” he breathes out, “i love you.” 

donghyuck’s heart feels like it’s about to burst at the seams. “you sure about that?” 

mark huffs out another laugh. “i’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life.” he leans in closer, breath fanning out over donghyuck’s lips. “is this okay?”

clumsily, donghyuck nods, and then mark is all in his space, in a good way, he thinks, and oh– mark is kissing him, and it is all his dreams come true and more. 

the fifth time donghyuck falls in love with mark, he is delighted to know mark has fallen right back in love with him. 

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> im back after like a wholeass year lmao  
> honestly dont know why im back, im busy to all hell, but hey, markhyuck doesnt sleep  
> (neither do i lol) 
> 
> catch me on twitter @noljagolcha! 
> 
> leave a comment if you can pls that is my source of joy and happiness (other than mister na jaemin)


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